Didn’t Christmas go quickly? No sooner was I looking forward to the festive season, planning the meals, buying and wrapping the presents than it was all over and we had that period of limbo before New Year.
For the first time this year I’ve experienced what Christmas and New Year means in Cyprus and was surprised to hear more greetings of ‘Happy New Year’ than ‘Happy Christmas’, even before Christmas! Of course Cyprus considers Easter of more importance than Christmas and Epiphany of more importance too in terms of gifts and parties but it made me think of how important the New Year is.
It’s a new beginning, the chance to turn over a new leaf but like Janus, the two headed god who faced the past and the future and after whom January was named, we need to look to the past to tell us what we need to do in the future.
We all make New Year’s resolutions, usually to give up smoking, cut back on the beer and wine or to lose weight but what about focusing on how we live our lives in relation to others rather than the selfish ‘What can we do for ourselves?’
I’ve used this New Year to think of the way I live my life and again, like Janus looking back, I’ve not been too happy with how I’ve lived my life in 2011. I’m hoping that I keep to my goals this year and that when doing the same exercise next year I can look back on 2012 with a little less guilt. Like all things we try to do for the long term it requires willpower but the best boost to willpower is the benefit we get from what we do.
I’ve started this year by listing all the things I felt went badly last year, the friendships taken for granted, people slighted, good deeds left undone and my worst trait, criticism of others. I know to my embarrassment that some of the people I’ve criticised have heard what I’d said and I’ve felt ashamed for what I’ve said. The hardest thing now is to admit fault, admit the deed and try to mend bridges. I think if we all did it, looking at our faults then trying to correct them, no one, including me, would have cause to criticise.
So what’s the best way to start again? I’m a bit of a chicken when it comes to confrontation and prefer to prepare the ground a little first in the hope of softening the blows. So I’m turning to ever effective salve – flowers. Three people initially are going to get flowers from me apologising for my faults and looking forward to a year of renewed, strengthened friendships. I’m glad that Cosmea Gardens can send flowers worldwide as well as sending flowers in Cyprus. Going to a florist could mean more embarrassment so I’m also pleased that Florist delivery is also a whole lot less embarrassing than handing over the flowers yourself and is a nicer touch too. I’m hoping that upon receipt, I get a phone call which will be the start of the mending of the relationships where I can admit fault whilst they’re in a good mood!
So, if you want to make 2012 a better year, don’t just think of yourself, think of others and by sorting out your relationship with them, bring yourself the inner peace that will begin 2012 on a happy note.