Tag Archives: kindness

March 18th is Mother’s Day across most of the world and despite the commercialism that has taken it over along with Valentine’s Day and Father’s Day, it’s a day when we should do something that shows appreciation of our mothers.
Think of the pain they went through to bring us into the world, women often joke that if men had to endure the pain of childbirth, the human population would have died out long ago. Then there’s the sacrifices made to be there for us, bringing us up, working to feed and clothe us, going without to make sure that we didn’t.
For my mother, the pain and sacrifice was all too real with her developing a condition during pregnancy that was to affect her for the rest of her life and still does today. On many occasions she’s had to suffer painful operations, been confined to bed or a wheelchair for weeks or months and had her life limited by the restrictions placed upon her. I’m sure that if we were to delve more deeply into the lives of our parents we’d find similar, possibly less obvious sacrifices, but sacrifices all the same.
In my last post I told you about the sad event that had overtaken one of the children I teach and my heart will be going out to her this Mother’s Day when the flowers she gave her mum each Mother’s Day during her lifetime will now be placed onto a cold grave. It’s times like this that I realise I’m lucky to still have my mother and it makes me determined to show her whilst I still can, just what she means to me.
So how will your mum be celebrating Mother’s Day?
Many will be alone with sons and daughters far away, the lucky ones will receive a phone call or a gift whilst others may hear nothing and feel forgotten, unappreciated and unloved. I sincerely hope your mother isn’t going to be one of those. If you’re lucky to be spending Mother’s Day with your mum, then don’t think that just being there is enough. Take time to find her a gift she’ll really appreciate as being the way you show how much she means to you but don’t just stop there. Flowers are a wonderful gift but they’re often used as a ‘catch-all’ when the giver can’t think of anything else. On Mother’s Day, flowers should be an additional gift because they don’t last long and weeks after the event has passed, all your mum will have is the very nice memory. For the best flowers, you have got to trust Cosmea Gardens who, for decades, have been sending love and happy thoughts across the miles through the language of flowers. Last year I used them for Mother’s Day and the beautiful flowers they delivered lasted for nearly three weeks.
I’m in Cyprus this year whilst my mum’s in the UK but on the day, she’ll receive a gift that she’s worthy of as well as the customary flowers. Skype will bring us together and let me tell her just how grateful I am for all she’s done for me.

Every once in a while something happens that makes one stop to consider what is really important in life.
Just that happened to my wife and me this last week. We teach a small group of children from home and they are a great bunch of kids, bright and keen to learn. They have parents who are very supportive of them and of the efforts that we make to give them a good education.
Like many countries around the world at this time of year, Cyprus has a bit of a winter cold or flu epidemic going on and all of the children, my wife and myself have succumbed to it to varying extents. What we didn’t know was that one of the mums had a serious illness that was made worse by catching a cold which turned into a chest infection. Initially we received the news that she was in hospital where she was receiving intensive care treatment then, shockingly, were told that she may not pull through and then, disbelievingly, we were told that she had died. After sitting there in total shock for what seemed like an eternity it dawned on us that a little girl of eleven was now left without a mother and her father was without the partner he had shared life with for sixteen years.
We informed the other parents from our little group and all sympathized, offering help in the difficult aftermath of the mum’s death. We and another family have spent the last few days trying to sort out the fallout from the situation and help the family on the road back to some kind of normality.
It has been a difficult journey, not just for the family but also for those that have offered help for, despite all you do, the terrible loss is still there and nothing will change it. What people don’t realize when something like this happens are the other ramifications of the death of a parent. The little girl was very close to and relied on her mum for ‘girlie chats’ and now has no one to take her place. The father is lost in his grief too and can offer little comfort. By far the greatest difficulty they face and I’m sure many others in the same position face is the financial uncertainty. In looking after the mum and paying for medicines, the family have no money. The weather has meant that the father has been unable to work, even if he had felt like it and the family fridge contained just half a liter of milk whilst the freezer had half a bag of oven chips and nothing else.
Thankfully friends have rallied round to offer help and the family are just about surviving.
It’s the funeral tomorrow and we’re sending flowers from CosmeaGardens.com.  Some might say that money is needed by the family, not flowers that will wither and die so we’ve also given an equal amount to help support the family.
A funeral is a celebration of a life as well as saying goodbye and flowers represent the joy of the person’s life and the happiness they gave to others so they are not wasted.
I’m not sure what the future holds for the family, but with the support of friends they will get over the tragedy and maybe a little way down the line when perhaps they’re feeling sad and lonely, flowers from Cosmea Gardens will cheer them up and remind them that they and their troubles are still in the hearts and thoughts of friends.

Didn’t Christmas go quickly? No sooner was I looking forward to the festive season, planning the meals, buying and wrapping the presents than it was all over and we had that period of limbo before New Year.
For the first time this year I’ve experienced what Christmas and New Year means in Cyprus and was surprised to hear more greetings of ‘Happy New Year’ than ‘Happy Christmas’, even before Christmas! Of course Cyprus considers Easter of more importance than Christmas and Epiphany of more importance too in terms of gifts and parties but it made me think of how important the New Year is.
It’s a new beginning, the chance to turn over a new leaf but like Janus, the two headed god who faced the past and the future and after whom January was named, we need to look to the past to tell us what we need to do in the future.
We all make New Year’s resolutions, usually to give up smoking, cut back on the beer and wine or to lose weight but what about focusing on how we live our lives in relation to others rather than the selfish ‘What can we do for ourselves?’
I’ve used this New Year to think of the way I live my life and again, like Janus looking back, I’ve not been too happy with how I’ve lived my life in 2011. I’m hoping that I keep to my goals this year and that when doing the same exercise next year I can look back on 2012 with a little less guilt. Like all things we try to do for the long term it requires willpower but the best boost to willpower is the benefit we get from what we do.
I’ve started this year by listing all the things I felt went badly last year, the friendships taken for granted, people slighted, good deeds left undone and my worst trait, criticism of others. I know to my embarrassment that some of the people I’ve criticised have heard what I’d said and I’ve felt ashamed for what I’ve said. The hardest thing now is to admit fault, admit the deed and try to mend bridges. I think if we all did it, looking at our faults then trying to correct them, no one, including me, would have cause to criticise.
So what’s the best way to start again? I’m a bit of a chicken when it comes to confrontation and prefer to prepare the ground a little first in the hope of softening the blows. So I’m turning to ever effective salve – flowers. Three people initially are going to get flowers from me apologising for my faults and looking forward to a year of renewed, strengthened friendships. I’m glad that Cosmea Gardens can send flowers worldwide as well as sending flowers in Cyprus. Going to a florist could mean more embarrassment so I’m also pleased that Florist delivery is also a whole lot less embarrassing than handing over the flowers yourself and is a nicer touch too. I’m hoping that upon receipt, I get a phone call which will be the start of the mending of the relationships where I can admit fault whilst they’re in a good mood!
So, if you want to make 2012 a better year, don’t just think of yourself, think of others and by sorting out your relationship with them, bring yourself the inner peace that will begin 2012 on a happy note.

I had to return to the UK recently and was shocked at the attitude of several people I met whilst there.

My first encounter was on a train when a young woman was sat underneath a sign asking passengers to be considerate to other people by not playing loud music on MP3 players and to keep their feet off the seats. You’ve guessed it, she was ignoring both pleas.

Next, I saw a petite young woman struggling to heave a large suitcase on the train and position it safely. When it came to her stop I asked if she needed help getting it off the train and found she was unsure whether accepting help would put her in any danger and so refused.

On my return to Cyprus I found someone’s boarding pass they’d dropped on the way to the gate and imagined what they would feel once they realised, probably too late, that they’d lost it and wouldn’t be able to take their flight. I immediately handed it in to an airline desk who said they’d find the person. I was disgusted though by a youth next to me who said he would have gone to the gate and laughed whilst watching the person’s growing panic as they realised their loss.

I know these are only isolated cases and people can’t be generalised about but to me it seemed sad in this season of goodwill to all, that this could happen.

Still there are those that make up for the shortcomings of the human race. We had friends around on Sunday and afterwards received a very thoughtful text from them telling how much they’d enjoyed the day. The text was followed up by a bouquet of flowers from Cosmea Gardens as an apology from the husband for drinking all the wine he had brought with him as a gift!

I was feeling a bit low for a week or so and I think it’s because it’s autumn, even in Cyprus, and the days are getting shorter, the weather’s unsettled and the temperatures have dropped considerably – but should I really be that depressed about it all?

We’ve got plenty of friends back in the UK who’ve said that the constant rain, gale force winds and even darker days are making them miserable and when I look out of the window, I now feel a little ashamed. For here in Cyprus, now is the time when you can get out and see the island without being exhausted by the heat or dripping with perspiration. There are still many sunny days and warm evenings and if it does rain, it’s all over in minutes and the sun shines again.

My guilt came out in talking to my parents who hadn’t been out of their flat in days because the weather was so bad. They’d decided to live off the food in their freezer and sit in and watch TV, shutting the world and the weather out. It would be cruel to describe our sunny, warm but very windy day to them and so I decided to send them a bit of sunshine in a bouquet of flowers from Cosmea Gardens.

I’m a great believer that flowers lift even the darkest of moods and they really appreciated the thought, only I then got to thinking – wasn’t I the one that was feeling low? Again, part of the joy of sending flowers is in the giving and seeing the look on the faces of those receiving them, and after all, I’ve still got sunshine so perhaps I should count my blessings!

Aren’t friends great?

We’re lucky (??) in that by living in Cyprus we have a steady flow of friends who want to come and stay with us. OK, it means several trips to the airport each month but we can keep in touch with home and have someone to share the trials and tribulations of life abroad with.

Our most recent guests have just returned to the UK and after dropping them off very early at the airport we returned home. I doubt we were in the apartment for more than half an hour when there was a ring on the doorbell.

We joked that it was our friends returned from the airport having missed their flight but upon opening the door we found it was a courier who was delivering an amazing bouquet of flowers.

My wife undid the small envelope and read that it was a thank you from our friends. What was more surprising is that it was a bouquet prepared by Cosmea Gardens. I guess the friends must have seen me working on one of my posts and picked up on the name. We’ve phoned them to thank them for their thoughtfulness but I had cause to think that although the bouquet was welcome, we had already received our thanks from the warm smiles on their faces as we showed them the true Cyprus that these days is too often hidden behind the consumerism.

I’ve just spent over a month in the UK experiencing what you might call the English summer which, with its usual washout had left gardens and parks looking dull and bedraggled. All it did was to make me wish for the sunnier climate of Cyprus so last Wednesday we grabbed the easyJet flight out of Gatwick and headed for the sun. Before leaving, I texted a friend to ask them to open up the windows so it wouldn’t be too oppressive in the apartment.

We arrived late in the evening and struggled with our bags up the stairs and flung open the door, glad to be home. I wasn’t prepared though for the surprise that greeted us when we went into the dining room for they had organised a bouquet of all my favourite flowers that brighten the island so even though it was dark when we arrived we immediately had a taste of what we’d missed back in the UK. There were the roses that bloom through the most intense heat set against white bougainvillea that in the garden looks like fresh snow in the wintry sun backed with rolled banana leaves. What an amazing creation I thought and looked at the label that accompanied them – Selected and hand-tied especially for you by Cosmea Gardens I should have known!

So it goes to show that if you want something really special or just to say something as simple as ‘Welcome home’ Cosmea Gardens are the ones to help.

I’ve spent a lot of money on flowers recently which should be a happy thing to do.

In this blog I’m often giving you ideas and reasons to send flowers and talk about the different kinds of flowers available these days.

These last two weeks I’ve sent flowers for different reasons on three occasions and all to the same person, two were happy reasons and one was sad.

The happy reasons were to express love and misgivings at not being with them over Valentine’s Day and to express congratulations on expecting a baby.

I’m sure many can guess the reasons for the flowers for the sad occasion.

At the end of a tumultuous fortnight, I stopped to ponder the effect of the flowers. The first two acknowledged the happiness of the occasions and served to make the recipients even happier still, the third bouquet ensured that the recipient knew they were in my thoughts and helped to lift a very despondent mood.

It showed me the effect that flowers can have and not only for the recipient for, as the sender, I received the phone call of thanks for the support and love that the flowers intimated.

Sending flowers is a two way thing and even in times of sadness, they can lift a mood and bring happiness or comfort to the recipient and sender.

I always use Cosmea Gardens for there’s nothing more dispiriting than receiving a poor quality bouquet, or one that doesn’t last.

Rarely a day passes when I don’t see a use of a flower as a gesture of thanks, kindness, love or consolation and many of these pass me by in the great scheme of things. However today I was privy as an observer in the right places at the right times to see just what the gift of a simple flower can do.

I got into work at 6.45 this morning and the cleaners were still hard at work. As I came back downstairs from my classroom I noticed an empty vase at the top of the stairs. Thinking it was destined for the vase box under the staffroom sink I took it down. Minutes later the cleaner called in at the staffroom and asked if I’d seen the vase. After explaining my actions he called me back upstairs with him. There on the table in the music teacher’s room was a single wild gladiolus stem. He’d found it, damaged, as he cycled into school. Carefully he filled the vase with water, placed the stem in the vase and carried it to the piano practice room, placing it on the windowsill. An hour later I was in my room next to the practice room when I heard the music teacher’s voice call out ‘How beautiful!’ She asked me if I knew how it had got there so I explained the story. Shortly after, I watched as they crossed on the stairs. She was so grateful for this tiniest of gifts and he was mildly embarrassed that his small thought had caused such a reaction. Later in the staffroom, after the cleaner had left, she was still enthusing about her gift and saying what a wonderfully kind and thoughtful man he was. I smiled as I considered how a gift that cost nothing but thought and a little time, could have such a wonderful effect. Why not find a flower of your own, perhaps buy a single stem from Cosmea Gardens think carefully about what you can do with it and cause a little ripple of happiness in someone else’s life.

I’m back out to Cyprus next week and as usual I can’t wait! My friends have been bragging about the summer weather and I really want to get out and about again, visit friends, enjoy the wonderful environment and breathe the flower scented spring air.

At the moment though I’m sat in my study in the UK looking out at another grey, cold day and I’m thinking about the places that make me feel happy.

Only the other day the latest ‘Satisfaction with Life’ survey was published and looking at the countries near the top made me wonder how they achieved that rating. On closer inspection the majority of them were Scandinavian countries where they scored well on how they are looked after by the state in times of illness or unemployment. Not surprisingly they scored negatively on climate – it would be way too cold for me as well there in winter.

Britain came in the top third and here it was the availability of culture, the welfare state and the unpredictable climate that made it a good place to live for the respondents. On the negative side for us was crime and the fear of crime.

In the light of the positives given for Cyprus I was surprised they didn’t rank higher – good climate, good social welfare, low crime and a vast cultural scene. Sadly it fell back because of concerns for the resolution of the ‘Cyprus Problem’ and a worry that tourism and construction could ruin the country’s beauty. I guess everywhere has its problems. Still there’s no doubt where I’d rather be but I guess it depends on what you want from life as an individual.

Another interesting snippet I found recently was a survey carried out by social scientists on the effects of kindness shown to others. Apparently the effect is exponential, the recipient of a kind act on average performed three acts of kindness for others in the week that followed.

I’m going to test out the theory and hopefully improve our ‘Satisfaction with Life’ score by sending a bouquet of flowers to a friend whose relationship has just ended. Hopefully it will cheer her up and encourage her to do something nice for others. Why don’t you give it a go? Do something nice for someone then meet up with them a week later and ask how it made them feel. Let me know how you get on!